School has started up once more, and that can only mean a notable spike in Facebook stalking…you have new friends whose pictures require hours of perusing, plus there’s no better way to avoid homework than to reread your wall-to-walls with thirty-two of your very closest friends.  I’m not judging.  I did it myself last night.

But I’m here to tell you that Facebook stalking isn’t as harmless as it may seem.  Sure, we’ve all felt a little creepy on occasion when checking a person’s page for the thirteenth time in one hour, but for the most part we assume everybody’s doing it…so it can’t be that bad.

But au contraire.

I read (well skimmed, because I’m pretty ADD) an article recently that said Facebook is actually quite bad for a person’s dating life.  It claimed stalking a potential lova harms the authenticity of that initial “getting to know you” process, which is apparently very crucial to the development of a healthy relationship.  And though I’m a self-professed Facebook guru (and though the article’s so far done nothing to curb my cyber-stalkery) I have to admit that I see their point.

One of the last guys I dated was a total Facebook hook-up.  (I didn’t judge you, so don’t judge me.)  We had friends in common which is how we “met,” and we started messaging and commenting back and forth until he finally asked me out.  And I was just so excited…my very own romance for the digital age!

But before things had really taken off (or pulled away from the terminal, for that matter) I noticed something, well, just weird between us.  Every story he told me I already knew (but I wasn’t actually supposed to know because I’d only read it on his Facebook), and so we’d go through this awkward, “oh really?  Huh, I had no idea!” dance that was neither convincing nor fun.

Then I’d tell him something and he’d act forcefully intrigued…and suddenly I would realize I’d posted pictures of whatever I was talking about and he had clearly stalked them (most likely on more than one occasion).  So even though I’d never told him, my story was already old news.

In the end we lost interest in each other.  Turns out we didn’t have that much in common after all (even though our Facebooks led us to believe otherwise), and our charade of bad acting became so tedious that after just a few months we were both joyously relieved to call it quits.

But even if we had been dopplegangers destined for lurrrve, I think our pre-dating cyber research still would’ve killed the spark DOA.  It just really took the mystery out of things that I already knew where he worked, and what fraternity he was in, and that his favorite TV show was Arrested Development.

So as difficult as it may be, I urge you not to Facebook stalk your next crush.  I promise it’ll make things more exciting, and if nothing else it’ll make you at least 17% more socially acceptable…

Because there’s nothing creepier than knowing that your date’s a Libra who loves Muse before you ever lay eyes on him.

Much love.

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break-ups, facebook, lurrrve, stalking