Out of Season, but still Perfect

Next week’s Dead Week. Dun, dun, dun.

In theory, Dead Week is a “just-lay-back-and-review” sort of week. In reality, it’s all ten-page papers, final projects, and last-minute pleas for extra-credit.

So, how do you escape this stressful mania? Booze, drugs and mindless kid shows? Eh, that works. But, I suggest a Patch Adams approach and cure Dead Week with laughter.

Even better, my suggestion involves Christmas. So, not only are you relieved of stress but you’re also reminded of one of your (maybe) favorite holidays.

I recommend Santa Responds: He’s had enough and He’s writing back (written by the fat-man himself).

In this book, Santa is responding to children’s letters with a cynical, mildly cankerous attitude and voicing his real opinion of them. And he’s not holding back one bit.

And why should he? Seeing how he just spent a long, cold night on a sleigh with his face in nine reindeers’ butts and delivering toys to little monsters who write barely eligible or completely insincere letters.

Clearly this book is meant for laughs and without a doubt we get them, over and over.

Angry Santa Attack!

And in the book, we learn of Santa’s frustration in dealing with devious, demanding, dishonest and greedy little brats, why his toy-making is outsourced to China, and what he really thinks of marriage and Mrs. Claus.

But we can’t forget the suspicious, cynical, and pessimistic children out there either. Their letters range from seeing Santa’s name as an anagram for Satan, to demanding gifts to rule the world, and to not believing he exists.

Though there is hope the world. Not all the letters are from little brats but instead little angels whose requests make even the most cynical smile. And some letters are from misplaced grown-ups or parents under pressure of their kids.

This book is unforgettable with Santa’s painfully honest responses to kids’ wish lists and ideas of good and bad. It’s just as the book says, “Yes, Virginia. There is a Santa Claus. And he’s pissed.” 

And a pissed Santa Claus makes for a great Dead Week stress break. Trust me. Patch Adams was right. Laughter is always the best cure. And Santa’s here to supply it.

And yes, I know this post is totally random. But hey, that helps keep you on your toes!

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